Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

by Pamela Ball

Author Pamela Ball Isbn 978 0517221877 File size 618 1 KB Year 2003 Pages Language Englisch File format PDF Category Sexuality Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted is a must have book that provides you with a fascinating compelling and sometimes surprising guide to what our dreams really mean This informative book explores fantasies symbolism and hidden meanings that will either make you blush or wish it was time for bed sweet dreams Download 618 1 KB Great Sex for Life Essential

Publisher :

Author : Pamela Ball

ISBN : 978 0517221877

Year : 2003

Language: Englisch

File Size : 618.1 KB

Category : Sexuality



YOUR'

sexuAL
DREAMS

INTERPRETED

YOUR""

sexuAL
DREAMS
INTERPRETED
Pamela Ball

Capella

This edition published in 2006
byArcturus Publishing Limited
26/27 Bickels Yard,
151-153 Bermondsey Street,
London SE1 3HA
Copyright © 2002 Arcturus Publishing Limited
All rights reserved. No part of this publication
may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted, in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording
or otherwise, without written permission in
accordance with the provisions of the Copyright
Act 1956 (as amended). Any person or persons
who do any unauthorised act in relation to this
publication may be liable to criminal prosecution
and civil claims for damages.

ISBN-13: 978-1-90032-26-1
ISBN-10: 1-900032-26-0
Cover design by Emma Haywood
Printed in England

CONTENTS
Introduction
SECTION ONE
T h e Way We See Ourselves
Relationships
Madonna v Whore and
Hero v Villain
Teenage Dreams
Homosexuality
Deviations
Fantasies

7
10
13
17
25
29
34
38
44

SECTION TWO
Sexual Symbolism

48

A-Z

49

SECTION THREE
Dream Interpretation

112

Introduction

YOUR SEXUAL DREAMS AND
FANTASIES EXPLAINED
INTRODUCTION
T h i s b o o k is primarily a w o r k b o o k to e n a b l e d r e a m e r s to enhanct
t h e i r o w n lives t h r o u g h a n u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e i r s e x u a l d r e a m s
While b e i n g a dictionary of symbols a n d i n f o r m a t i o n , it is also <
p r a c t i c a l h a n d b o o k for f u t u r e u s e a n d t h o u g h t . I t s h o w s h o w ;
c h i l d d e v e l o p s , h o w a t t i t u d e s a r i s e , why w e h a v e s e x u a l d r e a m :
a n d , finally, how to use sexual d r e a m s constructively. It h a s beer
fun t o write a n d h o p e f u l l y will b e fun t o r e a d .
T h e m a i n focus of my work - a n d my own p e r s o n a l growth - ha
b e e n the very delicate b a l a n c e between masculinity a n d feminini
t y b o t h i n t e r n a l l y a n d e x t e r n a l l y , o v e r d y a n d c o v e r d y , physicall;
a n d spiritually. I h a v e l e a r n t , i n p a r t , t o u n d e r s t a n d s e x u a l i t y anc
h a v e , u s i n g k n o w l e d g e o f d r e a m s a n d s y m b o l i s m , t r i e d t o achiev<
for m y s e l f t h e i n t e g r a t i o n o f t h e two s i d e s o f m y p e r s o n a l i t y with
out h a r m i n g a n y o n e else in the process. T h i s b o o k , while b a s e d 01
s o u n d c o m m o n sense a n d n o t j u s t theory, also gives explanation
o n t h e n e e d for w h o l e n e s s t h r o u g h p a r t n e r s h i p w e all h a v e a s p a r
o f o u r m a k e - u p (We a r e c o n t i n u a l l y a t t e m p t i n g t o b e c o m e a uni
f i e d w h o l e , w h i l e still b e i n g a w a r e o f a n i n n e r d u a l i t y ) .
T h e r e i s a b a s i c story t o l d i n slightly d i f f e r e n t t e r m s i n m o s t , i f n o
all, r e l i g i o n s , w h i c h h i g h l i g h t s t h e i n t e r p l a y b e t w e e n t h e negativi
a n d positive aspects o f the m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e , a n d betweei
the spiritual a n d instinctual. It c o u l d be said that it is the essentia
p l o t - in o n e f o r m or a n o t h e r - f o r all s e x u a l d r e a m s . Y o u , thi
d r e a m e r , will a d a p t the play t o e x p r e s s y o u r s e l f a s freely a s y o u can
a n d t h e m o r e y o u k n o w t h e m o r e freely y o u c a n e x p r e s s y o u r s e l f
S o , a slightly h u m o r o u s t e l l i n g o f this tale i s a s follows:I n t h e b e g i n n i n g t h e r e was A d a m a n d h i s w o m a n - h e r n a m e w a

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted
Lilith. L i l i t h w a s a m o o d y y o u n g m a d a m w h o w o u l d n ' t always d o
a s s h e w a s told. S h e w a s q u i t e s e n s i t i v e really, a n d d i d n ' t like i t
when A d a m h a d better things to d o . S h e u s e d to get quite destructive, until i t g o t t o t h e p o i n t w h e r e A d a m c o u l d n ' t h a n d l e h e r a n d
all h e w a n t e d w a s p e a c e a n d q u i e t . H e o n l y w a n t e d t i m e t o h a v e
l o n g p h i l o s o p h i c a l c o n v e r s a t i o n s with h i s f r i e n d G o d . S h e g o t
a n n o y e d w h e n h e d i d that, b e c a u s e s h e s e e m e d t o k n o w all a b o u t
w h a t they t a l k e d a b o u t anyway. A d a m s o m e t i m e s felt l o n e l y a n d
a l s o w a n t e d t o b e l o o k e d after, b u t L i l i t h h a d g o t b o r e d waiting
a n d h a d g o n e off down to the lake to do her own thing there. She
was m a k i n g d e m o n s , all b y herself!!!!! G o d t h e n m a d e A d a m
a n o t h e r w o m a n b e c a u s e h e w a s lonely. H e r n a m e w a s E v e . T h e
p r o b l e m w a s that s h e w a n t e d h i m t o d o s o m e t h i n g h e k n e w h e
s h o u l d n ' t b e d o i n g a n d i t w a s all g o i n g w r o n g a g a i n . M a y b e h e
w o u l d h a v e b e e n b e t t e r o f f s t i c k i n g with L i l i t h i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e .
S h e w a s n i c e a n d s e x y a n d s h e m a d e h i m feel g o o d all over.
T h e i m a g e s which c o m e up in d r e a m s are drawn from personal
experience,

the

unconscious

self,

a n d what J u n g

called

the

Collective U n c o n s c i o u s . Often w h e n we a r e aware of the types of
c o n f l i c t within o u r s e l v e s m e n t i o n e d i n t h e a b o v e story, w e m a y
d r e a m in pairs (e.g. m a s c u l i n e / f e m i n i n e , o l d / y o u n g , clever/stup i d ) . A n i n t e r n a l p e n d u l u m , w h i c h starts o f f s w i n g i n g r a t h e r wildl y f r o m s i d e t o s i d e , e v e n t u a l l y c o m e s t o rest. I t h a s c o m p a r e d a n d
c o n t r a s t e d all t h e i n f o r m a t i o n i t h a s c o l l e c t e d a l o n g t h e way, a n d
eventually sorts o u t the o p p o s i t e s into s o m e t h i n g which m a k e s
s e n s e ( A d r e a m clarifying t h e m a s c u l i n e s i d e o f o u r s e l v e s m a y b e
f o l l o w e d b y a d r e a m clarifying t h e f e m i n i n e ) . T h e j u g g l i n g that
g o e s o n i n this way c a n t a k e p l a c e o v e r a p e r i o d o f t i m e .
T h i s b o o k is divided into three sections:T h e first is an e x p l a n a t i o n of the various stages a h u m a n being
may go through as he or s h e m a t u r e s into a sexually c o m p e t e n t
person. T h e s e may include psychological concepts, actions or
e x a m p l e s w h i c h a r e r e c o g n i s a b l e i n e v e r y d a y life.
T h e s e c o n d s e c t i o n i s a n a l p h a b e t i c a l listing o f s y m b o l s , o b j e c t s
a n d i d e a s c o n n e c t e d with s e x a n d sexuality. O f t e n t h e d r e a m e r ' s

R

Introductior

m i n d will p r e s e n t t h i n g s i n s y m b o l i c f o r m i n o r d e r t h a t t h e d e e p
er m e a n i n g s of the symbolism can be appreciated.
T h e t h i r d s e c t i o n i s a n u m b e r o f c a s e s t u d i e s with i n t e r p r e t a t i o n ;
a t v a r i o u s l e v e l s o f a w a r e n e s s t o h e l p r e a d e r s e v e n t u a l l y t o inter
pret their own s e x u a l d r e a m s .
T h e e a s i e s t way t o u s e this b o o k i s i n c o n j u n c t i o n with a g o o d
d r e a m interpretation b o o k , such as the author's own '10,000
D r e a m s I n t e r p r e t e d ' , a n d to write d o w n the m e a n i n g s g l e a n e d to
give t h e m o s t effective i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . U s i n g this b o o k o n its o w n
will g i v e t h e d r e a m e r s o m e b a s i c e x p l a n a t i o n s t o e n a b l e h i m o r
h e r t o u n d e r s t a n d h o w d r e a m s c a n h e l p u s t o d e a l with i s s u e s o f
r e l a t i o n s h i p a n d sexuality.

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

SECTION ONE

T

h e d e s i r e f o r u n i o n with s o m e o n e e l s e a r i s e s o u t o f t h e a p p r e -

ciation that that p e r s o n c a n give us feelings a n d e x p e r i e n c e s

w h i c h w e a r e u n a b l e t o a c h i e v e i n a n y o t h e r way. I t o f t e n s e e m s
t h a t w e h a v e l o s t a p a r t o f o u r s e l v e s that o n l y t h e o t h e r p e r s o n c a n
supply. I n d e e d , i f all t h e v a r i o u s p a r t s o f u s w e r e fully i n t e g r a t e d ,
we would not need to seek reassurance, confirmation of our
attractiveness or love from others. Most of us have the desire
either to b e c o m e part of a greater whole or to m a k e others part
o f u s . D r e a m s with a s e x u a l c o n t e n t o r t h o s e a b o u t o u r s e x u a l i t y
provide the information to e n a b l e us to u n d e r s t a n d a n d eventually satisfy o u r n e e d s . S e x u a l i t y a n d a c t i o n s c o n n e c t e d with s e x u a l activity c a n

m a k e t h e m s e l v e s a p p a r e n t i n v a r i o u s ways i n

dreams.
W h e n a c h i l d is first b o r n , it h a s to l e a r n t h a t it is n o w s e p a r a t e
f r o m its m o t h e r . I t m u s t c o p e with t h a t s e p a r a t i o n - i t b e g i n s t o
b e c o m e ' c o n s c i o u s ' o f i t s e l f a s a p h y s i c a l b e i n g , a n d o f its n e e d for
w a r m t h , c o m f o r t a n d l o v e . T h e first s t a g e o f g r o w t h i s t h e b a b y ' s
f a s c i n a t i o n with its o%vn b o d y a n d its ability to be p h y s i c a l . T h i s is
a s m u c h t o d o with w h a t f e e l s c o m f o r t a b l e a n d n i c e - h o w i t f e e l s
t o b e i n o n e ' s o w n s k i n , a s i t w e r e . I t i s a t this p o i n t t h a t h e o r s h e
learns about touch - whether it is nice to touch or be touched, a n d
even i f t o u c h i s p e r m i s s i b l e . If, f o r i n s t a n c e , t h e c h i l d i s h a n d l e d
roughly a fear of b e i n g t o u c h e d may develop which c o u l d later
m a n i f e s t a s a s e x u a l difficulty. W h i l e t h e o r i g i n a l t r a u m a m a y b e
s u p p r e s s e d , i t will o f t e n s u r f a c e i n d r e a m s w h e n t h e d m e i s a p p r o priate. Real growth takes p l a c e when the individual is n o t afraid
o f t h e curiosity w h i c h a l l o w s a n i n n o c e n t e x p l o r a t i o n o f h i s o w n
body. D r e a m s will o f t e n a l l o w us to e x p l o r e this physicality in a
safe way.
M o v i n g o n t o m o r e p s y c h o l o g i c a l a s p e c t s , w e e a c h h o l d within
ourselves basic pictures - or c o n c e p t s - of what m a s c u l i n e a n d femi n i n e s h o u l d b e . T h e s e p i c t u r e s a r e often d i s t o r t e d b y o u r c h i l d h o o d e x p e r i e n c e s , that which we learn from the adults a r o u n d us,
a n d a g r o w i n g p e r c e p t i o n o f w h a t i s g o o d a n d b a d ( o r rather,

10

right or w r o n g ) . T h e h u m a n b e i n g n e e d s to know that it is 'right'
T h a t d o e s not necessarily m e a n gaining approval; it m e a n s more
what feels right - a g u t feeling.
C . G . J u n g a n d his pupils m a d e extensive studies o f adults' p e r
c e p t i o n o f t h e s e b a s i c c o n c e p t s a n d w e r e a b l e t o d i v i d e t h e m intc
functions of thinking, feeling, sensation a n d intuition. It became
p o s s i b l e t o b u i l d u p a type o f ' m a p ' o f t h e i n t e r a c t i o n a m o n g a l
of these functions a n d to discover where o n e ' s own distortion!
occur.
E a c h function h a s a 'greater' a n d 'lesser' quality which it is possi
b l e t o p e r c e i v e a s a s e p a r a t e p e r s o n a l i t y o r a r c h e t y p e . E a c h o f the
m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e s i d e s o f t h e p e r s o n a l i t y h a s t h e s e foui
functions: thus there are 64 (8 x 8) connections possible. Wher
o u r p e r c e p t i o n b e c o m e s twisted, w e p r o j e c t o n t o t h o s e a r o u n d u ;
- o r i n t o o u r d r e a m s - t h e a r c h e t y p e with w h i c h w e h a v e m o s t dif
ficulty. O u r d r e a m s will p r e s e n t u s a g a i n a n d a g a i n w i t h o u r owr
d i s t o r t i o n , or we will h a v e a t e n d e n c y to r e p e a t c e r t a i n p a t t e r n s o
r e l a t i o n s h i p o v e r a n d o v e r a g a i n . U n t i l w e l e a r n h o w t o c o p e wit!
- a n d u n d e r s t a n d - o u r o w n d i s t o r t i o n we c a n find o u r s e l v e s ir
unsuitable relationships, s u c h as a f a t h e r / d a u g h t e r type or i
h e r o / p r i n c e s s . T h e o t h e r s i d e o f t h e c o i n i s that, with a w a r e n e s s
o n e is able to accept others' projections o n t o oneself withou
b e i n g affected by them. Often in d r e a m s the situations whicl
n e e d w o r k i n g t h r o u g h c a n m a n i f e s t with a s e x u a l b i a s i n o r d e r fo:
u s t o p e r c e i v e t h e p r o b l e m clearly.
T h e t a b l e b e l o w d e m o n s t r a t e s t h e p r i n c i p l e m o r e clearly, a n d the
a r c h e t y p e s a r e d e a l t with m o r e e x t e n s i v e l y u n d e r t h e s u b - h e a d i n j
'People in D r e a m s ' in the alphabetical section.

1

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

MALE

FEMALE

POSITIVE/
NEGATIVE

KINDLY FATHER KINDLY M O T H E R

FUNCTION

+
SENSATION

OGRE

DESTRUCTIVE
MOTHER

YOUTH

PRINCESS

TRAMP

SIREN

HERO

AMAZON

+
FEELING

+
THINKING

VILLAIN

COMPETITOR

PRIEST

PRIESTESS

+
INTUITION

SORCERER

WITCH

-

Kindly F a t h e r a n d M o t h e r a r e self-explanatory. O g r e r e p r e s e n t s
m a s c u l i n e a n g e r u s e d negatively a n d Destructive M o t h e r m a y b e
wilfully d e s t r u c t i v e , or s i m p l y t h e s m o t h e r i n g t y p e - t h a t is, t h e
m o t h e r who prevents the a d e q u a t e growth of h e r children. Youth
a n d P r i n c e s s a r e t h e m o r e g e n d e , f u n - l o v i n g a s p e c t s o f t h e personality, w h i l e T r a m p i s the e t e r n a l w a n d e r e r a n d S i r e n i s t h e
s e d u c t r e s s o r s e x u a l l y active p a r t o f femininity. H e r o i s t h e self-sufficient M e s s i a n i c p a r t o f t h e p e r s o n a l i t y , w h i l e A m a z o n i s t h e 'selfsufficient' f e m a l e - the efficient b u s i n e s s w o m a n type. Villain is the
m a s c u l i n e part of the self who uses p o w e r for his own ends.
C o m p e t i t o r i s t h e typical ' w o m e n ' s l i b b e r ' w h o f e e l s t h a t s h e h a s
n o n e e d for m e n . P r i e s t a n d P r i e s t e s s a r e t h e p o w e r s o f i n t u i t i o n
u s e d for t h e ' g r e a t e r g o o d ' , while S o r c e r e r u s e s i n n e r p o w e r totall y d i s p a s s i o n a t e l y a n d Witch u s e s t h a t s a m e p o w e r r a t h e r m o r e
e m o t i o n a l l y a n d p e r h a p s negatively.
P e r f e c t b a l a n c e w o u l d b e a c h i e v e d b y b e i n g a b l e t o u s e all t h e s e

19

a s p e c t s o f t h e p e r s o n a l i t y i n a s c o n s t r u c t i v e a way a s p o s s i b l e . I t
w o u l d m e a n h a n d l i n g t h e n e g a t i v e , m o r e difficult s i d e s effectively, a l t h o u g h n o t n e c e s s a r i l y e r a d i c a t i n g t h e m .

THE WAY WE SEE OURSELVES
I f w e a r e g o i n g t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t r e l e v a n c e t h e way w e s e e ours e l v e s - or r a t h e r t h e way we u n d e r s t a n d o u r s e l v e s to be - h a s in
d e a l i n g with o u r s e x u a l i t y a n d sensuality, w e n e e d t o c o m p r e h e n d
how that self-image grows as we mature. It has b e e n discovered
t h a t m e n ' s b r a i n s a r e d i f f e r e n t t o w o m e n ' s - s o m e t h i n g thai
women

have

always

known

and

appreciated

anyway.

Men's

a p p r o a c h i s a l m o s t always m o r e l o g i c a l a n d o n e - p o i n t e d than
w o m e n ' s , which tends to be m o r e d i s p e r s e d a n d diffused.
T h e o l d i d e a that a p e r s o n d r e a m s h i m o r h e r s e l f i n t o e x i s t e n c e
p e r h a p s h a s f o u n d a t i o n in fact. It is n o w a c c e p t e d t h a t a b a b y is
aware before birth of what is h a p p e n i n g 'on the o u t s i d e ' . T h e r e
are also p e r i o d s when what is called R a p i d Eye M o v e m e n t occurs
i n t h e f o e t u s ( R a p i d E y e M o v e m e n t i s k n o w n t o o c c u r i n a sleepi n g p e r s o n w h e n d r e a m i n g o c c u r s ) . T h u s t h e b a b y b e g i n s t o internalise certain reactions to external stimuli a n d to r e s p o n d accordingly.
W e a l s o k n o w t h a t t h e f o e t u s i s f e m a l e f o r t h e first s e v e n w e e k s i n
t h e w o m b . F r o m t h a t p o i n t o n , t h e r e a r e t h o s e w h o will r e l e a s e a
l a r g e q u a n t i t y o f t h e m a l e h o r m o n e t e s t o s t e r o n e a n d will d e v e l o p
m a s c u l i n e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , w h i l e o t h e r s r e m a i n ( a n d d e v e l o p fully)
as females. T h e brain develops in

two h a l v e s ; t h e left s i d e o f the

b r a i n i s u s e d f o r v e r b a l a n d intuitive a w a r e n e s s a n d t h e r i g h t foi
s p a t i a l a w a r e n e s s a n d l o g i c a l t h o u g h t . T h e s e two h a l v e s a r e j o i n e d
by s o m e t h i n g called the c o r p u s callosum. T h i s acts as a bridge
b e t w e e n t h e two h a l v e s . I t a p p e a r s that a l t h o u g h m e n ' s b r a i n s are
some

1 0 % b i g g e r t h a n w o m e n ' s , w o m e n a r e m o r e efficient!)

' w i r e d ' t o b e a w a r e o f w h a t i s g o i n g o n . W o m e n t e n d t o u s e both
s i d e s o f t h e b r a i n i n u n i s o n m o r e effectively t h a n m e n , a n d
research is t e n d i n g to reveal that w o m e n d e v e l o p the ' b r i d g e ' tc
a g r e a t e r extent. T h i s is now b e g i n n i n g to c h a n g e as m e n develop
t h e i r intuitive a b i l i t i e s , a n d w o m e n d e v e l o p a m o r e a s s e r t i v e

1

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

aggressive a p p r o a c h . This m e a n s that d r e a m images are m o r e easily a c c e s s i b l e
T h i s is p a r t of the n a t u r e / n u r t u r e d e b a t e - whether, for instance,
w o m e n learn from dieir m o t h e r s how to be m o r e receptive or
w h e t h e r they b e c o m e s o n a t u r a l l y - a n d this i s r e l e v a n t s o far a s
d r e a m i n g is c o n c e r n e d . T h e i m a g e s that c o m e up in d r e a m s arise
initially f r o m t h e s t o r e o f i n f o r m a t i o n a v a i l a b l e t o u s t h r o u g h
experience.

Our perception

of what goes on around

u s will

inevitably h a v e b e e n c o l o u r e d b y o u r u n d e r s t a n d i n g . I n a h o m e
where displays of affection a r e natural, the child ( a n d the adult he
o r s h e b e c o m e s ) will m o r e r e a d i l y e x p r e s s a f f e c t i o n . C o n v e r s e l y , i n
a h o m e w h e r e t h e r e a r e s e x u a l i n h i b i t i o n s , t h e c h i l d will t e n d t o
b e m o r e apathetic. H e m a y later discover, only w h e n his d r e a m s
p r e s e n t h i m with i m a g e s o f s e x u a l f r e e d o m , t h a t h e i s b y n a t u r e
m o r e o u t g o i n g t h a n his p a r e n t s . W h e r e t h e s t e r e o t y p e s o f m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e b e h a v i o u r a r e a d h e r e d t o , m a n y p e o p l e will n o t
q u e s t i o n t h e v a r i o u s r o l e s until t h e i r d r e a m s p u s h t h e m i n t o c o n s i d e r i n g w h a t they feel a b o u t v a r i o u s i s s u e s s u c h a s sexuality.
A s s u m i n g that the baby is aware w h e n it is b o r n , it m u s t have a
r u d i m e n t a r y k n o w l e d g e of what is comfortable a n d what is not.
S o , after t h e initial d i s c o m f o r t o f s e p a r a t i o n f r o m m o t h e r , t h e
c h i l d b e g i n s t o r e c o g n i s e its o w n b a s i c n e e d for w a r m t h , c l o s e n e s s
a n d c o m f o r t . A b o n d i n g p r o c e s s with m o t h e r o c c u r s , w h i c h l a t e r
o n i n life b e c o m e s a p a t t e r n f o r t h e c h i l d ' s way o f r e l a t i n g t o o t h e r
p e o p l e - especially the female. If his or her n e e d s are met, then
they g r o w with t h e e x p e c t a t i o n t h a t t h o s e n e e d s will always b e m e t .
I f they a r e n o t , h e o r s h e will l e a r n t o s u p p r e s s t h e n e e d s . I t i s well
known

that i f a y o u n g b a b y ' s d e m a n d s g o u n t e n d e d f o r l o n g

e n o u g h , t h e b a b y will s i m p l y s t o p d e m a n d i n g a n d g o q u i e t , f o r i t
will p e r c e i v e t h o s e n e e d s a s b e i n g i n a p p r o p r i a t e . I f t h e l o v i n g ,
b o n d i n g process d o e s not take p l a c e properly, then a d i s p l a c e m e n t
o c c u r s w h i c h m a y n o t b e c o m e r e c o g n i s a b l e until l a t e r i n life, a n d
t h e n o n l y i n t e r m s o f t h e d r e a m e r ' s sensuality. T h i s m a y s u r f a c e ,
for instance, as a n e e d for close contact, or a fear of letting g o . It
may also arise in d r e a m s as highly erotic i m a g e s .
Example
I d r e a m t I w a s l o o k i n g f o r s o m e t h i n g w h i c h I h a d lost. A b e a u t i f u l

14

goddess-like figure dressed in black a p p e a r e d a n d offered to help
I w a s very a f r a i d o f a l l o w i n g h e r t o h e l p m e , b e c a u s e I felt i t woulc
put me in her power.
T h e d r e a m e r i s p r o b a b l y s e a r c h i n g for c o m f o r t . T h e g o d d e s s f i g
u r e - w h i c h he p e r c e i v e s as n e g a t i v e - c a n h e l p h i m to find this. H<
i s a f r a i d , however, t o t a k e t h e n e c e s s a r y s t e p s w h i c h will g i v e h i n
what he needs.
I n d r e a m s , t h e a d u l t c a n b e c o m e a w a r e o f a w h o l e r a n g e o f feel
i n g s a n d e m o t i o n s c o n n e c t e d with his o r h e r sexuality. F r o m h i
early c h i l d h o o d a n d m e m o r i e s , t h e r e s u r f a c e s w h a t F r e u d c h o s e t <
call b u r i e d i n f a n t i l e sexuality. F r e u d b e l i e v e d t h a t this w a s o n e o
t h e m a j o r m o t i v a t i n g f o r c e s b e h i n d d r e a m i n g , a n d saw i t i n t e r m
o f t h e p e n e t r a t i v e a c t a n d t h e r e c e p t i v e p a s s i v e act.
B e a r i n g i n m i n d t h a t h i s society w a s m o r e p a t e r n a l i s t i c ( a s well a
b e i n g m o r e i n h i b i t e d ) i n its n a t u r e , i t w o u l d p r o b a b l y b e s a f e r i i
t o d a y ' s c l i m a t e t o say t h a t d r e a m s h e l p u s t o c o m e t o t e r m s with
a n d to u n d e r s t a n d - o u r own bodily rather than sexual i m a g e . As ;
baby grows it b e c o m e s m o r e a n d m o r e aware of what is a pleasur
able bodily e x p e r i e n c e , a n d what is not. As an e x a m p l e , if smackec
for f o n d l i n g m o t h e r ' s b r e a s t t h e b a b y m a y d e v e l o p s u p p r e s s e c
f e a r s , w h i c h l a t e r m a y s u r f a c e as a difficulty with s e x . If, however
s u c h a n a c t i s p e r c e i v e d a s a p l e a s u r a b l e e x p e r i e n c e , t h e c h i l d wil
b e a t e a s e with its o w n b o d y .
T h i s is shown m o s t clearly in a d r e a m which m o s t p e o p l e have a
s o m e t i m e o r a n o t h e r . I t h a s l o n g b e e n a c c e p t e d that a t som<
p o i n t w e will d r e a m o f b e i n g n a k e d . F r e u d b e l i e v e d t h a t this w a
a n a t t e m p t t o r e t u r n t o a state o f i n n o c e n c e a n d purity, b e f o n
there was bodily awareness. In real terms such a d r e a m may simpl'
b e a n a t t e m p t f o r t h e d r e a m e r t o b e m o r e c o n s c i o u s o f h i s owr
body. H e c a n p u t t o o n e s i d e t h e b u r d e n s o f e v e r y d a y life a n d h a
f r e e d o m t o b e s e n s u o u s a n d s e n s u a l . S i n c e i n c h i l d h o o d th<
g r o w t h h o r m o n e i s m o r e active d u r i n g s l e e p , i t w o u l d b e p e r f e c t
ly l o g i c a l for a d r e a m e r to be a w a r e of t h e activity t h a t is takinj
p l a c e in h i s or h e r o w n b o d y - e v e n if it was o n l y s u b l i m i n a l l y - a n t
t h e r e f o r e t o wish t o b e n a k e d . T h e n e e d t o b e n a k e d c a n t h e r e f o n
h a v e m o r e t h a n o n e m e a n i n g . Firstly t h e r e i s t h e n e e d f o r free

1?

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

d o m , s e c o n d l y t h e n e e d t o f i n d c l o s e n e s s with s o m e o n e e l s e , thirdl y t h e n e e d t o e x p o s e o n e ' s vulnerability, a n d a l s o p e r h a p s t o c r e ate a climate of honesty a n d o p e n n e s s . B e i n g n a k e d w o u l d only be
s e x u a l l y e x p l i c i t i f u n i o n o n a p h y s i c a l level w a s t a k i n g p l a c e .
S e l f - i m a g e - t h a t is, t h e way o n e p e r c e i v e s o n e s e l f to be - is v e r y
closely t i e d u p with sexuality. I t h a s b e e n s u g g e s t e d t h a t i n c o m i n g
t o t e r m s with t h e p h y s i c a l b o d y , a n d i n l e a r n i n g t o h a n d l e t h e g e n italia, a c h i l d v e r y q u i c k l y r e c o g n i s e s t h e p l e a s u r a b l e f e e l i n g s a s s o c i a t e d with t h a t p a r t o f t h e b o d y , w h e t h e r i t i s initially a n a c t o f
s t i m u l a t i o n o r n o t . C u r i o s i t y will h a v e t h e c h i l d e x p l o r i n g t h o s e
a r e a s o f t h e b o d y . A s with s o m a n y o t h e r t h i n g s , i f t h a t p e r f e c t l y
natural act is prevented or interrupted, there may be repercussions or difficulties later o n . If the recognition a n d the taking of
p l e a s u r e i n b o d i l y s t i m u l a t i o n a t this infantile level a r e s u p p r e s s e d
( o r i n d e e d overly e n c o u r a g e d ) t h e r e will b e d i s t o r t i o n s a n d p o s s i bly d e v i a t i o n s w h i c h c a n o c c u r i n a d u l t life.
All this m a k e s i t s o u n d a s t h o u g h t h e r e i s o n l y d o o m a n d g l o o m
a s s o c i a t e d with this p r o c e s s o f r e c o g n i t i o n . T h i s i s p a t e n t l y n o t
true. We e a c h have a right to know a n d to u n d e r s t a n d what c a n a n d will - g i v e u s p l e a s u r e o n a p h y s i c a l level. It is

this

early learn-

i n g p r o c e s s w h i c h i s s u c h a n intrinsic p a r t o f o u r s e x u a l e n j o y m e n t
l a t e r o n . S e n s u a l i t y i s s u c h a s i g n i f i c a n t p a r t o f s e x u a l i t y a n d selfe n j o y m e n t t h a t if t h e r e a r e p r o b l e m s with this - p e r h a p s in a n e w
r e l a t i o n s h i p - t h e m i n d will o f t e n trawl for i n f o r m a t i o n a n d p r o d u c e i m a g e s i n d r e a m s w h i c h will h e l p u s t o u n d e r s t a n d o u r s e l v e s
better. T h u s w h e n w e a r e e x p l o r i n g n e w ways o f b e i n g c l o s e t o
s o m e o n e w e c a n o f t e n h a v e d r e a m s a b o u t o u r c h i l d h o o d o r previous relationships.
In a y o u n g child at the time of increased bodily awareness the
d r e a d e d p r o c e s s o f ' p o t t y training' also takes place. For m a n y p e o p l e t h e r e i s a g r e a t d e a l o f c o n f u s i o n w h i c h still p r e s e n t s i t s e l f i n
r e l a t i o n t o s e x u a l i t y a n d t o i l e t t r a i n i n g . W h a t i s i m p o r t a n t i s that,
t h r o u g h toilet training, the child first b e g i n s to a p p r e c i a t e that it
c a n h a v e c o n t r o l o v e r its o w n b o d i l y f u n c t i o n s . I t c a n a l s o h a v e a
m o d i c u m o f p o w e r o v e r o t h e r p e o p l e a r o u n d it. T h e s i t u a t i o n
w h e r e t h e c h i l d i s p l a c e d o n t h e potty a n d e x p e c t e d t o p e r f o r m i s
well k n o w n . T w o m i n u t e s later, after n o result, i t h a s w e t its p a n t s

16

with g r e a t g l e e . O f t e n i n l a t e r y e a r s d r e a m s s u r f a c e a r o u n d the
i s s u e s o f c o n t r o l a n d c o n f o r m i t y , a s well a s p e r f o r m a n c e e x p e c t a
tions a n d anxieties. T h e s e m a y or may n o t be overdy sexual 01
with a s e x u a l e l e m e n t w i t h i n t h e m .
Example
I d r e a m t I w a s w a t c h i n g a c h o r u s o f g i r l s p e r f o r m i n g i n s o m e kind
o f a m u s i c a l review. I t s t r u c k m e t h a t t h e w h o l e a u d i e n c e were
m e n . E a c h m a n c o u l d c o n t r o l o n e o f t h e d a n c e r s , a n d all the
d a n c e r s were b e i n g m a n i p u l a t e d . I was also trying to control a
d a n c e r b u t n o t v e r y successfully. W h e n I r e a l i s e d i t w a s m y m o t h
er I w a s c o n t r o l l i n g , I w o k e u p .
S e l f - i m a g e i s a l s o v e r y c l o s e l y t i e d u p with t h e f e e d b a c k w e receive
f r o m o t h e r p e o p l e . T h e r e i s n o w h e r e f r o m w h i c h w e will receive
m o r e h o n e s t f e e d b a c k t h a n i n a n i n t i m a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p , a n d often
a d r e a m w h i c h h a s a s e x u a l c o n t e n t will p e r f o r m t h e f u n c t i o n o i
confirming o u r own g o o d feelings a b o u t ourselves. Working again
on the theory that what or w h o we d r e a m a b o u t is also part of o u r
selves, w e s e e k a n d a c h i e v e s e l f - a p p r o v a l i n t h e s e x u a l d r e a m .

RELATIONSHIPS
W h e n t h e c h i l d h a s f o r m e d a n i m a g e o f itself, a n d h o w a n d
whether the basic n e e d s a r e g o i n g to be satisfied or not, it begin;
to learn how to relate to o t h e r p e o p l e . Obviously the child's firsi
r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e with its p a r e n t s , a n d t h o s e i n t e r a c t i o n s f o r m the
b e d r o c k o f h o w h e o r s h e will r e l a t e t o o t h e r m e m b e r s o f the
o p p o s i t e a n d o f t h e s a m e s e x . T h i s f i r s t view will b e c h a n g e d and
refined a c c o r d i n g to e x p e r i e n c e .
B e c a u s e t h e s e r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e s o i m p o r t a n t , i t i s q u i t e natural
a n d a p p r o p r i a t e t h a t a t t h e a g e o f a b o u t f o u r t h e r e will b e s o m e
kind of an erotic c h a r g e between child, a n d - usually - the pareni
o f the o p p o s i t e s e x . I f this c h a r g e i s h a n d l e d sensitively t h e child
g o e s o n t o l e a r n a n d m a t u r e , l e a r n i n g all t h e t i m e . H e o r she
begins to accept certain behaviour as being appropriate a n d othei
a s n o t . I t i s c o m m o n a t this t i m e t o s e e t h e little girl ' f l i r t i n g ' with
f a t h e r o r f a t h e r f i g u r e a s s h e b e g i n s t o r e c o g n i s e h e r o w n instinctive power. I t i s e q u a l l y c o m m o n t o o b s e r v e t h e little b o y b e c o m

1"!

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

ing solicitous over his m o t h e r ' s welfare. If the child b e c o m e s conf u s e d d u r i n g this p e r i o d t h e r e i s t h e p o t e n t i a l f o r s u c h f e e l i n g s t o
b e s u p p r e s s e d , d e n i e d o r e x a g g e r a t e d . T h e s e child-like r e s p o n s e s
may surface in later years as d r e a m i m a g e s of incest a n d eroticism.
T h i s t y p e o f d r e a m i s d e a l t with m o r e fully i n t h e c h a p t e r o n devia t i o n s . F o r m e n , they m u s t e s c a p e f r o m f e m a l e d o m i n a t i o n , t o a n
e a s y s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s h i p with w o m e n , a n d a n a p p r e c i a t i o n o f their
o w n m a s c u l i n i t y , w h e r e they a r e n o t i n c o m p e t i t i o n with father.
W o m e n , however, m u s t r e c o g n i s e t h a t their f i r s t b o n d i n g i n b o t h
a s e x u a l a n d s e n s u a l way will h a v e b e e n with m o t h e r , o n l y l a t e r t o
be f o l l o w e d by a b o n d i n g with father. A w o m a n will o f t e n initially
seek a p a r t n e r who shows similar characteristics to b o t h parents.
T h e r e is a f u r t h e r s t a g e in t h e g r o w t h p r o c e s s - a r o u n d p u b e r t y w h e n t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p with p a r e n t s o r o t h e r a d u l t m e m b e r s o f the
family s u r f a c e s with s e x u a l o v e r t o n e s . A s t h e t e e n a g e r b e g i n s t o
m o v e away f r o m c l o s e i n v o l v e m e n t with t h e f a m i l y t o e x p e r i m e n t
with o t h e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s , t h e security o f a k n o w n e m o t i o n c a n b e
t r a n s l a t e d i n t o s e x u a l f e e l i n g s o r ' f a n c y i n g ' t h e p a r e n t o f the
o p p o s i t e s e x . I f this i s r e c o g n i s e d a s a t r a n s i e n t p h a s e n o h a r m i s
d o n e , a l t h o u g h t e e n a g e r s c a n b e c o m e very w o r r i e d b y d r e a m s o f
h a v i n g s e x with a p a r e n t .
D r e a m images hold an element of past experience. It is therefore
o b v i o u s t h a t o v e r d y s e x u a l d r e a m s c a n b e m o r e easily a c c e p t e d
w h e n w e h a v e s o m e u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f h o w w e g r e w i n t o t h e pers o n w e a r e a t this t i m e . I f w e h a v e n o t g a i n e d s u c h a n u n d e r s t a n d i n g , t h e n t h e s e x u a l a c t i s m o r e likely t o b e s y m b o l i s e d a n d perh a p s l e s s easily r e c o g n i s e d . W e may, for i n s t a n c e , d r e a m o f s h o o t ing s o m e o n e or b e i n g shot, or of b e i n g bitten by a snake.
As we m o v e into a d u l t h o o d we can b e c o m e aware of certain basic
blueprints a n d ideals that we h o l d in o u r s u b c o n s c i o u s . T h e m o s t
easily r e c o g n i s a b l e o n e s a r e t h e k n i g h t i n s h i n i n g a r m o u r - w h i c h
e v e r y w o m a n will r e c o g n i s e - o r t h e d a m s e l i n d i s t r e s s w h o n e e d s
rescuing. T h e s e blueprints - which J u n g believed were held by
e v e r y o n e - c a n b e c o m e distorted by c h i l d h o o d e x p e r i e n c e s , socialisation a n d e v e n p a r e n t a l e x p e r i e n c e .
O u r b a s i c i n s t i n c t u a l u r g e t o r e p r o d u c e i n t h e m o s t effective way

1fl

p o s s i b l e b e g i n s with fantasy, m o v e s t h r o u g h d r e a m s a n d s h o u l d
c u l m i n a t e in successful sexual relationships. Archetypes, b e l o n g
i n g a s they d o t o a p o o l o f t h e c o l l e c t i v e u n c o n s c i o u s , allow u s t c
access a h u g e source of information a n d knowledge as symbol!
a n d p i c t u r e s . T h e s e e n a b l e u s s u c c e s s f u l l y t o c r e a t e a life f o r o u r
selves, where we a r e properly s u p p o r t e d a n d n u r t u r e d . By coming
to an u n d e r s t a n d i n g of the illusions a n d distortions we ourselvei
c r e a t e - a n d w h i c h c a n b e c r e a t e d for u s b y o t h e r p e o p l e - w e arc
a b l e t o a d j u s t o u r w a k i n g lives f o r p e r s o n a l s u c c e s s . T h e s e a r c h e
types o f t e n a r e p r o d u c e d initially i n d r e a m s , a s i m a g e s , a n d t h e r
a s s i m i l a t e d a n d r e c o g n i s e d i n e v e r y d a y life. W e c a n safely d r e a m o :
a s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s h i p with a n i d e a l f i g u r e w i t h o u t h a r m i n g o u r
selves o r o t h e r s .
While there are other archetypal figures which a p p e a r in d r e a m s
t h o s e t h a t a r e p e r t i n e n t i n d r e a m s o f a s e x u a l n a t u r e a r e those
w h i c h a r e a s s o c i a t e d m o s t with t h e m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e a t t r i b
u t e s within o u r c h a r a c t e r . It is e a s y to u n d e r s t a n d this c o n c e p t i;
we r e m e m b e r that we are conceived o u t of a c o m i n g t o g e t h e r o:
t h e m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e . W e will t h e r e f o r e h a v e i n h e r i t e d c e r
tain c h a r a c t e r traits f r o m b o t h m o t h e r a n d father. T h e y i n t u r n wil
have inherited characteristics a n d behaviours from their parents
w h o will h a v e h a d t o m a k e s e n s e o f t h e i r p a r e n t s ' i d i o s y n c r a s i e s
J u n g b e c a m e f a s c i n a t e d b y t h e way t h a t t h e m i n d c r e a t e s s y m b o l :
and

characterisations, which

appear

to

be

common

to

al

m a n k i n d . I n t a n d e m with his w o r k o n a r c h e t y p e s , i t w a s h e whc
first d i v i d e d t h e f u n c t i o n s o f t h e m i n d i n t o f o u r a s p e c t s ; s e n s a t i o n
feeling, thinking a n d intuition. L a t e r work by his pupils confirmee
t h e e x i s t e n c e o f b o t h m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e a r c h e t y p e s . I t i s nov
possible to d e v e l o p a kind of pathway t h r o u g h the various interac
t i o n s w h i c h o c c u r within t h e p e r s o n a l i t y , a n d m o r e o f t e n t h a n n o
b e c o m e reflected outwards into relationship, whether sexual o;
otherwise.
T h e first thing which n e e d s to be u n d e r s t o o d is that regardless o
o u r overt gender, there is an inner side of o u r personality that is o
the o p p o s i t e g e n d e r . T h u s t h e m a l e will h a v e a h i d d e n f e m a l e s i d e
a n d t h e f e m a l e will h a v e h i d d e n m a s c u l i n e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s . T h i
h i d d e n s i d e will b e a f f e c t e d b y i n f o r m a t i o n r e c e i v e d t h r o u g h o u

1!

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

life. I f t h a t h i d d e n s i d e i s d e n i e d o r r e p r e s s e d , i t will o f t e n s u r f a c e
in d r e a m i m a g e s as a m a n or a w o m a n , s o m e t i m e s recognisable by
the d r e a m e r a n d s o m e t i m e s n o t . A n i d e a l o f w h a t this i n t e r n a l
m a s c u l i n e o r f e m i n i n e f i g u r e s h o u l d b e i s f o r m e d very e a r l y o n
t h r o u g h o n e ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p s with o n e ' s p a r e n t s , a l t h o u g h this m a y
later b e c o m e d i s t o r t e d b y e x t e r n a l e x p e r i e n c e . T h i s i n t e r n a l f i g ure is called the A n i m a in the masculine, a n d the A n i m u s in the
feminine. As part of the growing-up process y o u n g p e o p l e begin
r e l a t i o n s h i p s o u t s i d e t h e family. A t this p o i n t i t i s v e r y e a s y t o p r o j e c t this i d e a l o n t o t h e i r p a r t n e r . T h e y try t o m a k e t h e i r p a r t n e r s
conform to that ideal, rather than allowing them to be themselves.
It is probably i m p o s s i b l e for any o n e h u m a n b e i n g to be able to
totally satisfy t h e n e e d s o f a n o t h e r , w h e t h e r t h o s e n e e d s a r e e m o tional or sexual. I n d e e d it is a sign of maturity when we realise that
both we a n d our partner are g o i n g to require different things from
different p e o p l e . T h e r e is then no further n e e d to a g o n i s e over
relationships where, for instance, a h u s b a n d finds himself b e c o m i n g j e a l o u s o f h i s w i f e ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p with h e r m o t h e r . O f t e n t h e
c o n t e n t o f his d r e a m s will g i v e h i m t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o w o r k his
f e e l i n g s o u t in s u c h a way t h a t t h e r e is b e n e f i t all r o u n d .
Example
I d r e a m t t h a t my wife a n d I w e r e w a i t i n g for h e r p a r e n t s in a bar.
T h e y c a m e i n , a n d m y wife i m m e d i a t e l y c r o s s e d o v e r a n d s a t o n
her mother's k n e e ( s o m e t h i n g she would not do in real life). I
f o u n d this v e r y e r o t i c , b u t I d i d n ' t k n o w w h o I f a n c i e d , m y wife o r
h e r m o t h e r . I t h i n k h e r m o t h e r i s a n o l d b a t d e - a x e i n r e a l life.
In this d r e a m , t h e r e is an instinctive r e c o g n i t i o n t h a t h i s wife is still
maintaining

the

m o t h e r / d a u g h t e r relationship, which

he

now

finds attractive r a t h e r t h a n t h r e a t e n i n g . It is m o t h e r - i n - l a w ' s personality t h a t h e i s a m b i v a l e n t over.
T h e f e m i n i n e q u a l i t i e s i n a m a n a t b e s t h e l p h i m t o u n d e r s t a n d his
m o r e c a r i n g a n d s e n s i t i v e s i d e . A t w o r s t they b e c o m e d e s t r u c t i v e ,
a n d put him in a position of acting in an unstable fashion. For
i n s t a n c e , h e m a y f i n d h i m s e l f u n a b l e t o d e c i d e b e t w e e n two c o u r s e s o f a c t i o n , o r b e t w e e n two w o m e n . I n d r e a m s this c a n m a n i f e s t
as a d r e a m where his p a r t n e r c h a n g e s into the o t h e r w o m a n , or

9D

v i c e v e r s a . W h e n h e r e c o g n i s e s t h a t h e c a n c o r r e c t t h a t instability
within h i m s e l f , h e i s a b l e t o a c c e p t t h a t t h e d r e a m f i g u r e s c a n h e l p
h i m t o u n d e r s t a n d himself.
I n s t e a d o f b e i n g a f i g u r e t o b e f e a r e d , this i n t e r n a l f e m i n i n e can
b e d e v e l o p e d a s a f r i e n d a n d ally. R e c o g n i s e d p r o p e r l y , t h e A n i m a
b e c o m e s t h e M u s e o f t h e p o e t , t h e I n s p i r e r o f t h e m u s i c i a n , the
Motivator of the b u s i n e s s m a n . W h e n he a p p r e c i a t e s that there is a
p o t e n t i a l f o r a n i n n e r u n i o n t o t a k e p l a c e , h i s d r e a m s will often
t a k e o n a s e x u a l q u a l i t y w h i c h s i g n i f i e s this u n i o n . H e i s t h u s able
t o a c c e s s a v a s t a m o u n t o f a w a r e n e s s a n d k n o w l e d g e w h i c h has
h i t h e r t o b e e n u n a v a i l a b l e t o h i m . H e will t h e n f i n d h i m s e l f m o r e
a b l e t o b e s u c c e s s f u l i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n e v e r y d a y life, w h e t h e r s e x
ual or otherwise.
In d r e a m s the A n i m a can appear in n u m e r o u s forms, sometimes
showing herself as an unknown w o m a n , as a g o d d e s s figure, a;
s o m e o n e k n o w n t o t h e d r e a m e r , a n d o f t e n a s a n a s p e c t o f h i s owr
mother. T h i s is b e c a u s e a m a n internalises his own p e r c e p t i o n ol
the f e m i n i n e a r o u n d h i m b e c a u s e o f h i s e a r l y r e l a t i o n s h i p with his
m o t h e r . T h e latter will h a v e f o r m e d t h e l o d e s t o n e o f h i s r e l a t i o n
s h i p with w o m e n . I t i s often n o t until h e m e e t s s o m e o n e w h o ha;
c o m e t o t e r m s with h e r s e l f a s w o m a n , t h a t h e will b e a b l e t o release
the p e r c e p t i o n s a n d e n e r g y h e h a s k e p t p e n t u p .
T h e s e f i r s t r e l e a s e s a n d e x p e r i m e n t a t i o n will o f t e n m a n i f e s t a s s e x
ual d r e a m s . F o r instance, in an a t t e m p t to discover his mother':
sexuality he may d r e a m of watching her - or p e r h a p s a d r e a m char
a c t e r w h o r e p r e s e n t s h e r - a c t i n g , i n h i s view, i n a n i n a p p r o p r i a t e
m a n n e r s e x u a l l y . H e m a y d r e a m o f h e r b e h a v i n g with c o n s i d e r a b l e
a b a n d o n m e n t , when in actual fact s h e is s o m e w h a t self-containec
i n r e a l life. C o n v e r s e l y s h e m a y i n d r e a m s a p p e a r t o b e inhibitec
w h e n s h e i s a v e r y o p e n p e r s o n . I t i s a l m o s t a s t h o u g h h e i s testing
out his hypotheses a b o u t w o m e n in his d r e a m scenarios.
P a r t i c u l a r l y i f h i s m o t h e r h a s i n h i b i t e d h i s s e x u a l g r o w t h i n some
way, he will h a v e difficulty in r e c o n c i l i n g h i s o w n n e e d s with those
o f t h e w o m e n a r o u n d h i m . H e will o f t e n e x p e c t t o b e m o t h e r e d b ;
his p a r t n e r a n d b e c o m e very c o n f u s e d w h e n this d o e s n o t h a p p e n
W h e n h e r e a l i s e s h o w e v e r that w o m e n h a v e t h e ability t o b e ' o t h e ;

9



YOUR'

sexuAL
DREAMS

INTERPRETED

YOUR""

sexuAL
DREAMS
INTERPRETED
Pamela Ball

Capella

This edition published in 2006
byArcturus Publishing Limited
26/27 Bickels Yard,
151-153 Bermondsey Street,
London SE1 3HA
Copyright © 2002 Arcturus Publishing Limited
All rights reserved. No part of this publication
may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted, in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording
or otherwise, without written permission in
accordance with the provisions of the Copyright
Act 1956 (as amended). Any person or persons
who do any unauthorised act in relation to this
publication may be liable to criminal prosecution
and civil claims for damages.

ISBN-13: 978-1-90032-26-1
ISBN-10: 1-900032-26-0
Cover design by Emma Haywood
Printed in England

CONTENTS
Introduction
SECTION ONE
T h e Way We See Ourselves
Relationships
Madonna v Whore and
Hero v Villain
Teenage Dreams
Homosexuality
Deviations
Fantasies

7
10
13
17
25
29
34
38
44

SECTION TWO
Sexual Symbolism

48

A-Z

49

SECTION THREE
Dream Interpretation

112

Introduction

YOUR SEXUAL DREAMS AND
FANTASIES EXPLAINED
INTRODUCTION
T h i s b o o k is primarily a w o r k b o o k to e n a b l e d r e a m e r s to enhanct
t h e i r o w n lives t h r o u g h a n u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f t h e i r s e x u a l d r e a m s
While b e i n g a dictionary of symbols a n d i n f o r m a t i o n , it is also <
p r a c t i c a l h a n d b o o k for f u t u r e u s e a n d t h o u g h t . I t s h o w s h o w ;
c h i l d d e v e l o p s , h o w a t t i t u d e s a r i s e , why w e h a v e s e x u a l d r e a m :
a n d , finally, how to use sexual d r e a m s constructively. It h a s beer
fun t o write a n d h o p e f u l l y will b e fun t o r e a d .
T h e m a i n focus of my work - a n d my own p e r s o n a l growth - ha
b e e n the very delicate b a l a n c e between masculinity a n d feminini
t y b o t h i n t e r n a l l y a n d e x t e r n a l l y , o v e r d y a n d c o v e r d y , physicall;
a n d spiritually. I h a v e l e a r n t , i n p a r t , t o u n d e r s t a n d s e x u a l i t y anc
h a v e , u s i n g k n o w l e d g e o f d r e a m s a n d s y m b o l i s m , t r i e d t o achiev<
for m y s e l f t h e i n t e g r a t i o n o f t h e two s i d e s o f m y p e r s o n a l i t y with
out h a r m i n g a n y o n e else in the process. T h i s b o o k , while b a s e d 01
s o u n d c o m m o n sense a n d n o t j u s t theory, also gives explanation
o n t h e n e e d for w h o l e n e s s t h r o u g h p a r t n e r s h i p w e all h a v e a s p a r
o f o u r m a k e - u p (We a r e c o n t i n u a l l y a t t e m p t i n g t o b e c o m e a uni
f i e d w h o l e , w h i l e still b e i n g a w a r e o f a n i n n e r d u a l i t y ) .
T h e r e i s a b a s i c story t o l d i n slightly d i f f e r e n t t e r m s i n m o s t , i f n o
all, r e l i g i o n s , w h i c h h i g h l i g h t s t h e i n t e r p l a y b e t w e e n t h e negativi
a n d positive aspects o f the m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e , a n d betweei
the spiritual a n d instinctual. It c o u l d be said that it is the essentia
p l o t - in o n e f o r m or a n o t h e r - f o r all s e x u a l d r e a m s . Y o u , thi
d r e a m e r , will a d a p t the play t o e x p r e s s y o u r s e l f a s freely a s y o u can
a n d t h e m o r e y o u k n o w t h e m o r e freely y o u c a n e x p r e s s y o u r s e l f
S o , a slightly h u m o r o u s t e l l i n g o f this tale i s a s follows:I n t h e b e g i n n i n g t h e r e was A d a m a n d h i s w o m a n - h e r n a m e w a

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted
Lilith. L i l i t h w a s a m o o d y y o u n g m a d a m w h o w o u l d n ' t always d o
a s s h e w a s told. S h e w a s q u i t e s e n s i t i v e really, a n d d i d n ' t like i t
when A d a m h a d better things to d o . S h e u s e d to get quite destructive, until i t g o t t o t h e p o i n t w h e r e A d a m c o u l d n ' t h a n d l e h e r a n d
all h e w a n t e d w a s p e a c e a n d q u i e t . H e o n l y w a n t e d t i m e t o h a v e
l o n g p h i l o s o p h i c a l c o n v e r s a t i o n s with h i s f r i e n d G o d . S h e g o t
a n n o y e d w h e n h e d i d that, b e c a u s e s h e s e e m e d t o k n o w all a b o u t
w h a t they t a l k e d a b o u t anyway. A d a m s o m e t i m e s felt l o n e l y a n d
a l s o w a n t e d t o b e l o o k e d after, b u t L i l i t h h a d g o t b o r e d waiting
a n d h a d g o n e off down to the lake to do her own thing there. She
was m a k i n g d e m o n s , all b y herself!!!!! G o d t h e n m a d e A d a m
a n o t h e r w o m a n b e c a u s e h e w a s lonely. H e r n a m e w a s E v e . T h e
p r o b l e m w a s that s h e w a n t e d h i m t o d o s o m e t h i n g h e k n e w h e
s h o u l d n ' t b e d o i n g a n d i t w a s all g o i n g w r o n g a g a i n . M a y b e h e
w o u l d h a v e b e e n b e t t e r o f f s t i c k i n g with L i l i t h i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e .
S h e w a s n i c e a n d s e x y a n d s h e m a d e h i m feel g o o d all over.
T h e i m a g e s which c o m e up in d r e a m s are drawn from personal
experience,

the

unconscious

self,

a n d what J u n g

called

the

Collective U n c o n s c i o u s . Often w h e n we a r e aware of the types of
c o n f l i c t within o u r s e l v e s m e n t i o n e d i n t h e a b o v e story, w e m a y
d r e a m in pairs (e.g. m a s c u l i n e / f e m i n i n e , o l d / y o u n g , clever/stup i d ) . A n i n t e r n a l p e n d u l u m , w h i c h starts o f f s w i n g i n g r a t h e r wildl y f r o m s i d e t o s i d e , e v e n t u a l l y c o m e s t o rest. I t h a s c o m p a r e d a n d
c o n t r a s t e d all t h e i n f o r m a t i o n i t h a s c o l l e c t e d a l o n g t h e way, a n d
eventually sorts o u t the o p p o s i t e s into s o m e t h i n g which m a k e s
s e n s e ( A d r e a m clarifying t h e m a s c u l i n e s i d e o f o u r s e l v e s m a y b e
f o l l o w e d b y a d r e a m clarifying t h e f e m i n i n e ) . T h e j u g g l i n g that
g o e s o n i n this way c a n t a k e p l a c e o v e r a p e r i o d o f t i m e .
T h i s b o o k is divided into three sections:T h e first is an e x p l a n a t i o n of the various stages a h u m a n being
may go through as he or s h e m a t u r e s into a sexually c o m p e t e n t
person. T h e s e may include psychological concepts, actions or
e x a m p l e s w h i c h a r e r e c o g n i s a b l e i n e v e r y d a y life.
T h e s e c o n d s e c t i o n i s a n a l p h a b e t i c a l listing o f s y m b o l s , o b j e c t s
a n d i d e a s c o n n e c t e d with s e x a n d sexuality. O f t e n t h e d r e a m e r ' s

R

Introductior

m i n d will p r e s e n t t h i n g s i n s y m b o l i c f o r m i n o r d e r t h a t t h e d e e p
er m e a n i n g s of the symbolism can be appreciated.
T h e t h i r d s e c t i o n i s a n u m b e r o f c a s e s t u d i e s with i n t e r p r e t a t i o n ;
a t v a r i o u s l e v e l s o f a w a r e n e s s t o h e l p r e a d e r s e v e n t u a l l y t o inter
pret their own s e x u a l d r e a m s .
T h e e a s i e s t way t o u s e this b o o k i s i n c o n j u n c t i o n with a g o o d
d r e a m interpretation b o o k , such as the author's own '10,000
D r e a m s I n t e r p r e t e d ' , a n d to write d o w n the m e a n i n g s g l e a n e d to
give t h e m o s t effective i n t e r p r e t a t i o n . U s i n g this b o o k o n its o w n
will g i v e t h e d r e a m e r s o m e b a s i c e x p l a n a t i o n s t o e n a b l e h i m o r
h e r t o u n d e r s t a n d h o w d r e a m s c a n h e l p u s t o d e a l with i s s u e s o f
r e l a t i o n s h i p a n d sexuality.

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

SECTION ONE

T

h e d e s i r e f o r u n i o n with s o m e o n e e l s e a r i s e s o u t o f t h e a p p r e -

ciation that that p e r s o n c a n give us feelings a n d e x p e r i e n c e s

w h i c h w e a r e u n a b l e t o a c h i e v e i n a n y o t h e r way. I t o f t e n s e e m s
t h a t w e h a v e l o s t a p a r t o f o u r s e l v e s that o n l y t h e o t h e r p e r s o n c a n
supply. I n d e e d , i f all t h e v a r i o u s p a r t s o f u s w e r e fully i n t e g r a t e d ,
we would not need to seek reassurance, confirmation of our
attractiveness or love from others. Most of us have the desire
either to b e c o m e part of a greater whole or to m a k e others part
o f u s . D r e a m s with a s e x u a l c o n t e n t o r t h o s e a b o u t o u r s e x u a l i t y
provide the information to e n a b l e us to u n d e r s t a n d a n d eventually satisfy o u r n e e d s . S e x u a l i t y a n d a c t i o n s c o n n e c t e d with s e x u a l activity c a n

m a k e t h e m s e l v e s a p p a r e n t i n v a r i o u s ways i n

dreams.
W h e n a c h i l d is first b o r n , it h a s to l e a r n t h a t it is n o w s e p a r a t e
f r o m its m o t h e r . I t m u s t c o p e with t h a t s e p a r a t i o n - i t b e g i n s t o
b e c o m e ' c o n s c i o u s ' o f i t s e l f a s a p h y s i c a l b e i n g , a n d o f its n e e d for
w a r m t h , c o m f o r t a n d l o v e . T h e first s t a g e o f g r o w t h i s t h e b a b y ' s
f a s c i n a t i o n with its o%vn b o d y a n d its ability to be p h y s i c a l . T h i s is
a s m u c h t o d o with w h a t f e e l s c o m f o r t a b l e a n d n i c e - h o w i t f e e l s
t o b e i n o n e ' s o w n s k i n , a s i t w e r e . I t i s a t this p o i n t t h a t h e o r s h e
learns about touch - whether it is nice to touch or be touched, a n d
even i f t o u c h i s p e r m i s s i b l e . If, f o r i n s t a n c e , t h e c h i l d i s h a n d l e d
roughly a fear of b e i n g t o u c h e d may develop which c o u l d later
m a n i f e s t a s a s e x u a l difficulty. W h i l e t h e o r i g i n a l t r a u m a m a y b e
s u p p r e s s e d , i t will o f t e n s u r f a c e i n d r e a m s w h e n t h e d m e i s a p p r o priate. Real growth takes p l a c e when the individual is n o t afraid
o f t h e curiosity w h i c h a l l o w s a n i n n o c e n t e x p l o r a t i o n o f h i s o w n
body. D r e a m s will o f t e n a l l o w us to e x p l o r e this physicality in a
safe way.
M o v i n g o n t o m o r e p s y c h o l o g i c a l a s p e c t s , w e e a c h h o l d within
ourselves basic pictures - or c o n c e p t s - of what m a s c u l i n e a n d femi n i n e s h o u l d b e . T h e s e p i c t u r e s a r e often d i s t o r t e d b y o u r c h i l d h o o d e x p e r i e n c e s , that which we learn from the adults a r o u n d us,
a n d a g r o w i n g p e r c e p t i o n o f w h a t i s g o o d a n d b a d ( o r rather,

10

right or w r o n g ) . T h e h u m a n b e i n g n e e d s to know that it is 'right'
T h a t d o e s not necessarily m e a n gaining approval; it m e a n s more
what feels right - a g u t feeling.
C . G . J u n g a n d his pupils m a d e extensive studies o f adults' p e r
c e p t i o n o f t h e s e b a s i c c o n c e p t s a n d w e r e a b l e t o d i v i d e t h e m intc
functions of thinking, feeling, sensation a n d intuition. It became
p o s s i b l e t o b u i l d u p a type o f ' m a p ' o f t h e i n t e r a c t i o n a m o n g a l
of these functions a n d to discover where o n e ' s own distortion!
occur.
E a c h function h a s a 'greater' a n d 'lesser' quality which it is possi
b l e t o p e r c e i v e a s a s e p a r a t e p e r s o n a l i t y o r a r c h e t y p e . E a c h o f the
m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e s i d e s o f t h e p e r s o n a l i t y h a s t h e s e foui
functions: thus there are 64 (8 x 8) connections possible. Wher
o u r p e r c e p t i o n b e c o m e s twisted, w e p r o j e c t o n t o t h o s e a r o u n d u ;
- o r i n t o o u r d r e a m s - t h e a r c h e t y p e with w h i c h w e h a v e m o s t dif
ficulty. O u r d r e a m s will p r e s e n t u s a g a i n a n d a g a i n w i t h o u r owr
d i s t o r t i o n , or we will h a v e a t e n d e n c y to r e p e a t c e r t a i n p a t t e r n s o
r e l a t i o n s h i p o v e r a n d o v e r a g a i n . U n t i l w e l e a r n h o w t o c o p e wit!
- a n d u n d e r s t a n d - o u r o w n d i s t o r t i o n we c a n find o u r s e l v e s ir
unsuitable relationships, s u c h as a f a t h e r / d a u g h t e r type or i
h e r o / p r i n c e s s . T h e o t h e r s i d e o f t h e c o i n i s that, with a w a r e n e s s
o n e is able to accept others' projections o n t o oneself withou
b e i n g affected by them. Often in d r e a m s the situations whicl
n e e d w o r k i n g t h r o u g h c a n m a n i f e s t with a s e x u a l b i a s i n o r d e r fo:
u s t o p e r c e i v e t h e p r o b l e m clearly.
T h e t a b l e b e l o w d e m o n s t r a t e s t h e p r i n c i p l e m o r e clearly, a n d the
a r c h e t y p e s a r e d e a l t with m o r e e x t e n s i v e l y u n d e r t h e s u b - h e a d i n j
'People in D r e a m s ' in the alphabetical section.

1

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

MALE

FEMALE

POSITIVE/
NEGATIVE

KINDLY FATHER KINDLY M O T H E R

FUNCTION

+
SENSATION

OGRE

DESTRUCTIVE
MOTHER

YOUTH

PRINCESS

TRAMP

SIREN

HERO

AMAZON

+
FEELING

+
THINKING

VILLAIN

COMPETITOR

PRIEST

PRIESTESS

+
INTUITION

SORCERER

WITCH

-

Kindly F a t h e r a n d M o t h e r a r e self-explanatory. O g r e r e p r e s e n t s
m a s c u l i n e a n g e r u s e d negatively a n d Destructive M o t h e r m a y b e
wilfully d e s t r u c t i v e , or s i m p l y t h e s m o t h e r i n g t y p e - t h a t is, t h e
m o t h e r who prevents the a d e q u a t e growth of h e r children. Youth
a n d P r i n c e s s a r e t h e m o r e g e n d e , f u n - l o v i n g a s p e c t s o f t h e personality, w h i l e T r a m p i s the e t e r n a l w a n d e r e r a n d S i r e n i s t h e
s e d u c t r e s s o r s e x u a l l y active p a r t o f femininity. H e r o i s t h e self-sufficient M e s s i a n i c p a r t o f t h e p e r s o n a l i t y , w h i l e A m a z o n i s t h e 'selfsufficient' f e m a l e - the efficient b u s i n e s s w o m a n type. Villain is the
m a s c u l i n e part of the self who uses p o w e r for his own ends.
C o m p e t i t o r i s t h e typical ' w o m e n ' s l i b b e r ' w h o f e e l s t h a t s h e h a s
n o n e e d for m e n . P r i e s t a n d P r i e s t e s s a r e t h e p o w e r s o f i n t u i t i o n
u s e d for t h e ' g r e a t e r g o o d ' , while S o r c e r e r u s e s i n n e r p o w e r totall y d i s p a s s i o n a t e l y a n d Witch u s e s t h a t s a m e p o w e r r a t h e r m o r e
e m o t i o n a l l y a n d p e r h a p s negatively.
P e r f e c t b a l a n c e w o u l d b e a c h i e v e d b y b e i n g a b l e t o u s e all t h e s e

19

a s p e c t s o f t h e p e r s o n a l i t y i n a s c o n s t r u c t i v e a way a s p o s s i b l e . I t
w o u l d m e a n h a n d l i n g t h e n e g a t i v e , m o r e difficult s i d e s effectively, a l t h o u g h n o t n e c e s s a r i l y e r a d i c a t i n g t h e m .

THE WAY WE SEE OURSELVES
I f w e a r e g o i n g t o u n d e r s t a n d w h a t r e l e v a n c e t h e way w e s e e ours e l v e s - or r a t h e r t h e way we u n d e r s t a n d o u r s e l v e s to be - h a s in
d e a l i n g with o u r s e x u a l i t y a n d sensuality, w e n e e d t o c o m p r e h e n d
how that self-image grows as we mature. It has b e e n discovered
t h a t m e n ' s b r a i n s a r e d i f f e r e n t t o w o m e n ' s - s o m e t h i n g thai
women

have

always

known

and

appreciated

anyway.

Men's

a p p r o a c h i s a l m o s t always m o r e l o g i c a l a n d o n e - p o i n t e d than
w o m e n ' s , which tends to be m o r e d i s p e r s e d a n d diffused.
T h e o l d i d e a that a p e r s o n d r e a m s h i m o r h e r s e l f i n t o e x i s t e n c e
p e r h a p s h a s f o u n d a t i o n in fact. It is n o w a c c e p t e d t h a t a b a b y is
aware before birth of what is h a p p e n i n g 'on the o u t s i d e ' . T h e r e
are also p e r i o d s when what is called R a p i d Eye M o v e m e n t occurs
i n t h e f o e t u s ( R a p i d E y e M o v e m e n t i s k n o w n t o o c c u r i n a sleepi n g p e r s o n w h e n d r e a m i n g o c c u r s ) . T h u s t h e b a b y b e g i n s t o internalise certain reactions to external stimuli a n d to r e s p o n d accordingly.
W e a l s o k n o w t h a t t h e f o e t u s i s f e m a l e f o r t h e first s e v e n w e e k s i n
t h e w o m b . F r o m t h a t p o i n t o n , t h e r e a r e t h o s e w h o will r e l e a s e a
l a r g e q u a n t i t y o f t h e m a l e h o r m o n e t e s t o s t e r o n e a n d will d e v e l o p
m a s c u l i n e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s , w h i l e o t h e r s r e m a i n ( a n d d e v e l o p fully)
as females. T h e brain develops in

two h a l v e s ; t h e left s i d e o f the

b r a i n i s u s e d f o r v e r b a l a n d intuitive a w a r e n e s s a n d t h e r i g h t foi
s p a t i a l a w a r e n e s s a n d l o g i c a l t h o u g h t . T h e s e two h a l v e s a r e j o i n e d
by s o m e t h i n g called the c o r p u s callosum. T h i s acts as a bridge
b e t w e e n t h e two h a l v e s . I t a p p e a r s that a l t h o u g h m e n ' s b r a i n s are
some

1 0 % b i g g e r t h a n w o m e n ' s , w o m e n a r e m o r e efficient!)

' w i r e d ' t o b e a w a r e o f w h a t i s g o i n g o n . W o m e n t e n d t o u s e both
s i d e s o f t h e b r a i n i n u n i s o n m o r e effectively t h a n m e n , a n d
research is t e n d i n g to reveal that w o m e n d e v e l o p the ' b r i d g e ' tc
a g r e a t e r extent. T h i s is now b e g i n n i n g to c h a n g e as m e n develop
t h e i r intuitive a b i l i t i e s , a n d w o m e n d e v e l o p a m o r e a s s e r t i v e

1

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

aggressive a p p r o a c h . This m e a n s that d r e a m images are m o r e easily a c c e s s i b l e
T h i s is p a r t of the n a t u r e / n u r t u r e d e b a t e - whether, for instance,
w o m e n learn from dieir m o t h e r s how to be m o r e receptive or
w h e t h e r they b e c o m e s o n a t u r a l l y - a n d this i s r e l e v a n t s o far a s
d r e a m i n g is c o n c e r n e d . T h e i m a g e s that c o m e up in d r e a m s arise
initially f r o m t h e s t o r e o f i n f o r m a t i o n a v a i l a b l e t o u s t h r o u g h
experience.

Our perception

of what goes on around

u s will

inevitably h a v e b e e n c o l o u r e d b y o u r u n d e r s t a n d i n g . I n a h o m e
where displays of affection a r e natural, the child ( a n d the adult he
o r s h e b e c o m e s ) will m o r e r e a d i l y e x p r e s s a f f e c t i o n . C o n v e r s e l y , i n
a h o m e w h e r e t h e r e a r e s e x u a l i n h i b i t i o n s , t h e c h i l d will t e n d t o
b e m o r e apathetic. H e m a y later discover, only w h e n his d r e a m s
p r e s e n t h i m with i m a g e s o f s e x u a l f r e e d o m , t h a t h e i s b y n a t u r e
m o r e o u t g o i n g t h a n his p a r e n t s . W h e r e t h e s t e r e o t y p e s o f m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e b e h a v i o u r a r e a d h e r e d t o , m a n y p e o p l e will n o t
q u e s t i o n t h e v a r i o u s r o l e s until t h e i r d r e a m s p u s h t h e m i n t o c o n s i d e r i n g w h a t they feel a b o u t v a r i o u s i s s u e s s u c h a s sexuality.
A s s u m i n g that the baby is aware w h e n it is b o r n , it m u s t have a
r u d i m e n t a r y k n o w l e d g e of what is comfortable a n d what is not.
S o , after t h e initial d i s c o m f o r t o f s e p a r a t i o n f r o m m o t h e r , t h e
c h i l d b e g i n s t o r e c o g n i s e its o w n b a s i c n e e d for w a r m t h , c l o s e n e s s
a n d c o m f o r t . A b o n d i n g p r o c e s s with m o t h e r o c c u r s , w h i c h l a t e r
o n i n life b e c o m e s a p a t t e r n f o r t h e c h i l d ' s way o f r e l a t i n g t o o t h e r
p e o p l e - especially the female. If his or her n e e d s are met, then
they g r o w with t h e e x p e c t a t i o n t h a t t h o s e n e e d s will always b e m e t .
I f they a r e n o t , h e o r s h e will l e a r n t o s u p p r e s s t h e n e e d s . I t i s well
known

that i f a y o u n g b a b y ' s d e m a n d s g o u n t e n d e d f o r l o n g

e n o u g h , t h e b a b y will s i m p l y s t o p d e m a n d i n g a n d g o q u i e t , f o r i t
will p e r c e i v e t h o s e n e e d s a s b e i n g i n a p p r o p r i a t e . I f t h e l o v i n g ,
b o n d i n g process d o e s not take p l a c e properly, then a d i s p l a c e m e n t
o c c u r s w h i c h m a y n o t b e c o m e r e c o g n i s a b l e until l a t e r i n life, a n d
t h e n o n l y i n t e r m s o f t h e d r e a m e r ' s sensuality. T h i s m a y s u r f a c e ,
for instance, as a n e e d for close contact, or a fear of letting g o . It
may also arise in d r e a m s as highly erotic i m a g e s .
Example
I d r e a m t I w a s l o o k i n g f o r s o m e t h i n g w h i c h I h a d lost. A b e a u t i f u l

14

goddess-like figure dressed in black a p p e a r e d a n d offered to help
I w a s very a f r a i d o f a l l o w i n g h e r t o h e l p m e , b e c a u s e I felt i t woulc
put me in her power.
T h e d r e a m e r i s p r o b a b l y s e a r c h i n g for c o m f o r t . T h e g o d d e s s f i g
u r e - w h i c h he p e r c e i v e s as n e g a t i v e - c a n h e l p h i m to find this. H<
i s a f r a i d , however, t o t a k e t h e n e c e s s a r y s t e p s w h i c h will g i v e h i n
what he needs.
I n d r e a m s , t h e a d u l t c a n b e c o m e a w a r e o f a w h o l e r a n g e o f feel
i n g s a n d e m o t i o n s c o n n e c t e d with his o r h e r sexuality. F r o m h i
early c h i l d h o o d a n d m e m o r i e s , t h e r e s u r f a c e s w h a t F r e u d c h o s e t <
call b u r i e d i n f a n t i l e sexuality. F r e u d b e l i e v e d t h a t this w a s o n e o
t h e m a j o r m o t i v a t i n g f o r c e s b e h i n d d r e a m i n g , a n d saw i t i n t e r m
o f t h e p e n e t r a t i v e a c t a n d t h e r e c e p t i v e p a s s i v e act.
B e a r i n g i n m i n d t h a t h i s society w a s m o r e p a t e r n a l i s t i c ( a s well a
b e i n g m o r e i n h i b i t e d ) i n its n a t u r e , i t w o u l d p r o b a b l y b e s a f e r i i
t o d a y ' s c l i m a t e t o say t h a t d r e a m s h e l p u s t o c o m e t o t e r m s with
a n d to u n d e r s t a n d - o u r own bodily rather than sexual i m a g e . As ;
baby grows it b e c o m e s m o r e a n d m o r e aware of what is a pleasur
able bodily e x p e r i e n c e , a n d what is not. As an e x a m p l e , if smackec
for f o n d l i n g m o t h e r ' s b r e a s t t h e b a b y m a y d e v e l o p s u p p r e s s e c
f e a r s , w h i c h l a t e r m a y s u r f a c e as a difficulty with s e x . If, however
s u c h a n a c t i s p e r c e i v e d a s a p l e a s u r a b l e e x p e r i e n c e , t h e c h i l d wil
b e a t e a s e with its o w n b o d y .
T h i s is shown m o s t clearly in a d r e a m which m o s t p e o p l e have a
s o m e t i m e o r a n o t h e r . I t h a s l o n g b e e n a c c e p t e d that a t som<
p o i n t w e will d r e a m o f b e i n g n a k e d . F r e u d b e l i e v e d t h a t this w a
a n a t t e m p t t o r e t u r n t o a state o f i n n o c e n c e a n d purity, b e f o n
there was bodily awareness. In real terms such a d r e a m may simpl'
b e a n a t t e m p t f o r t h e d r e a m e r t o b e m o r e c o n s c i o u s o f h i s owr
body. H e c a n p u t t o o n e s i d e t h e b u r d e n s o f e v e r y d a y life a n d h a
f r e e d o m t o b e s e n s u o u s a n d s e n s u a l . S i n c e i n c h i l d h o o d th<
g r o w t h h o r m o n e i s m o r e active d u r i n g s l e e p , i t w o u l d b e p e r f e c t
ly l o g i c a l for a d r e a m e r to be a w a r e of t h e activity t h a t is takinj
p l a c e in h i s or h e r o w n b o d y - e v e n if it was o n l y s u b l i m i n a l l y - a n t
t h e r e f o r e t o wish t o b e n a k e d . T h e n e e d t o b e n a k e d c a n t h e r e f o n
h a v e m o r e t h a n o n e m e a n i n g . Firstly t h e r e i s t h e n e e d f o r free

1?

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

d o m , s e c o n d l y t h e n e e d t o f i n d c l o s e n e s s with s o m e o n e e l s e , thirdl y t h e n e e d t o e x p o s e o n e ' s vulnerability, a n d a l s o p e r h a p s t o c r e ate a climate of honesty a n d o p e n n e s s . B e i n g n a k e d w o u l d only be
s e x u a l l y e x p l i c i t i f u n i o n o n a p h y s i c a l level w a s t a k i n g p l a c e .
S e l f - i m a g e - t h a t is, t h e way o n e p e r c e i v e s o n e s e l f to be - is v e r y
closely t i e d u p with sexuality. I t h a s b e e n s u g g e s t e d t h a t i n c o m i n g
t o t e r m s with t h e p h y s i c a l b o d y , a n d i n l e a r n i n g t o h a n d l e t h e g e n italia, a c h i l d v e r y q u i c k l y r e c o g n i s e s t h e p l e a s u r a b l e f e e l i n g s a s s o c i a t e d with t h a t p a r t o f t h e b o d y , w h e t h e r i t i s initially a n a c t o f
s t i m u l a t i o n o r n o t . C u r i o s i t y will h a v e t h e c h i l d e x p l o r i n g t h o s e
a r e a s o f t h e b o d y . A s with s o m a n y o t h e r t h i n g s , i f t h a t p e r f e c t l y
natural act is prevented or interrupted, there may be repercussions or difficulties later o n . If the recognition a n d the taking of
p l e a s u r e i n b o d i l y s t i m u l a t i o n a t this infantile level a r e s u p p r e s s e d
( o r i n d e e d overly e n c o u r a g e d ) t h e r e will b e d i s t o r t i o n s a n d p o s s i bly d e v i a t i o n s w h i c h c a n o c c u r i n a d u l t life.
All this m a k e s i t s o u n d a s t h o u g h t h e r e i s o n l y d o o m a n d g l o o m
a s s o c i a t e d with this p r o c e s s o f r e c o g n i t i o n . T h i s i s p a t e n t l y n o t
true. We e a c h have a right to know a n d to u n d e r s t a n d what c a n a n d will - g i v e u s p l e a s u r e o n a p h y s i c a l level. It is

this

early learn-

i n g p r o c e s s w h i c h i s s u c h a n intrinsic p a r t o f o u r s e x u a l e n j o y m e n t
l a t e r o n . S e n s u a l i t y i s s u c h a s i g n i f i c a n t p a r t o f s e x u a l i t y a n d selfe n j o y m e n t t h a t if t h e r e a r e p r o b l e m s with this - p e r h a p s in a n e w
r e l a t i o n s h i p - t h e m i n d will o f t e n trawl for i n f o r m a t i o n a n d p r o d u c e i m a g e s i n d r e a m s w h i c h will h e l p u s t o u n d e r s t a n d o u r s e l v e s
better. T h u s w h e n w e a r e e x p l o r i n g n e w ways o f b e i n g c l o s e t o
s o m e o n e w e c a n o f t e n h a v e d r e a m s a b o u t o u r c h i l d h o o d o r previous relationships.
In a y o u n g child at the time of increased bodily awareness the
d r e a d e d p r o c e s s o f ' p o t t y training' also takes place. For m a n y p e o p l e t h e r e i s a g r e a t d e a l o f c o n f u s i o n w h i c h still p r e s e n t s i t s e l f i n
r e l a t i o n t o s e x u a l i t y a n d t o i l e t t r a i n i n g . W h a t i s i m p o r t a n t i s that,
t h r o u g h toilet training, the child first b e g i n s to a p p r e c i a t e that it
c a n h a v e c o n t r o l o v e r its o w n b o d i l y f u n c t i o n s . I t c a n a l s o h a v e a
m o d i c u m o f p o w e r o v e r o t h e r p e o p l e a r o u n d it. T h e s i t u a t i o n
w h e r e t h e c h i l d i s p l a c e d o n t h e potty a n d e x p e c t e d t o p e r f o r m i s
well k n o w n . T w o m i n u t e s later, after n o result, i t h a s w e t its p a n t s

16

with g r e a t g l e e . O f t e n i n l a t e r y e a r s d r e a m s s u r f a c e a r o u n d the
i s s u e s o f c o n t r o l a n d c o n f o r m i t y , a s well a s p e r f o r m a n c e e x p e c t a
tions a n d anxieties. T h e s e m a y or may n o t be overdy sexual 01
with a s e x u a l e l e m e n t w i t h i n t h e m .
Example
I d r e a m t I w a s w a t c h i n g a c h o r u s o f g i r l s p e r f o r m i n g i n s o m e kind
o f a m u s i c a l review. I t s t r u c k m e t h a t t h e w h o l e a u d i e n c e were
m e n . E a c h m a n c o u l d c o n t r o l o n e o f t h e d a n c e r s , a n d all the
d a n c e r s were b e i n g m a n i p u l a t e d . I was also trying to control a
d a n c e r b u t n o t v e r y successfully. W h e n I r e a l i s e d i t w a s m y m o t h
er I w a s c o n t r o l l i n g , I w o k e u p .
S e l f - i m a g e i s a l s o v e r y c l o s e l y t i e d u p with t h e f e e d b a c k w e receive
f r o m o t h e r p e o p l e . T h e r e i s n o w h e r e f r o m w h i c h w e will receive
m o r e h o n e s t f e e d b a c k t h a n i n a n i n t i m a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p , a n d often
a d r e a m w h i c h h a s a s e x u a l c o n t e n t will p e r f o r m t h e f u n c t i o n o i
confirming o u r own g o o d feelings a b o u t ourselves. Working again
on the theory that what or w h o we d r e a m a b o u t is also part of o u r
selves, w e s e e k a n d a c h i e v e s e l f - a p p r o v a l i n t h e s e x u a l d r e a m .

RELATIONSHIPS
W h e n t h e c h i l d h a s f o r m e d a n i m a g e o f itself, a n d h o w a n d
whether the basic n e e d s a r e g o i n g to be satisfied or not, it begin;
to learn how to relate to o t h e r p e o p l e . Obviously the child's firsi
r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e with its p a r e n t s , a n d t h o s e i n t e r a c t i o n s f o r m the
b e d r o c k o f h o w h e o r s h e will r e l a t e t o o t h e r m e m b e r s o f the
o p p o s i t e a n d o f t h e s a m e s e x . T h i s f i r s t view will b e c h a n g e d and
refined a c c o r d i n g to e x p e r i e n c e .
B e c a u s e t h e s e r e l a t i o n s h i p s a r e s o i m p o r t a n t , i t i s q u i t e natural
a n d a p p r o p r i a t e t h a t a t t h e a g e o f a b o u t f o u r t h e r e will b e s o m e
kind of an erotic c h a r g e between child, a n d - usually - the pareni
o f the o p p o s i t e s e x . I f this c h a r g e i s h a n d l e d sensitively t h e child
g o e s o n t o l e a r n a n d m a t u r e , l e a r n i n g all t h e t i m e . H e o r she
begins to accept certain behaviour as being appropriate a n d othei
a s n o t . I t i s c o m m o n a t this t i m e t o s e e t h e little girl ' f l i r t i n g ' with
f a t h e r o r f a t h e r f i g u r e a s s h e b e g i n s t o r e c o g n i s e h e r o w n instinctive power. I t i s e q u a l l y c o m m o n t o o b s e r v e t h e little b o y b e c o m

1"!

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

ing solicitous over his m o t h e r ' s welfare. If the child b e c o m e s conf u s e d d u r i n g this p e r i o d t h e r e i s t h e p o t e n t i a l f o r s u c h f e e l i n g s t o
b e s u p p r e s s e d , d e n i e d o r e x a g g e r a t e d . T h e s e child-like r e s p o n s e s
may surface in later years as d r e a m i m a g e s of incest a n d eroticism.
T h i s t y p e o f d r e a m i s d e a l t with m o r e fully i n t h e c h a p t e r o n devia t i o n s . F o r m e n , they m u s t e s c a p e f r o m f e m a l e d o m i n a t i o n , t o a n
e a s y s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s h i p with w o m e n , a n d a n a p p r e c i a t i o n o f their
o w n m a s c u l i n i t y , w h e r e they a r e n o t i n c o m p e t i t i o n with father.
W o m e n , however, m u s t r e c o g n i s e t h a t their f i r s t b o n d i n g i n b o t h
a s e x u a l a n d s e n s u a l way will h a v e b e e n with m o t h e r , o n l y l a t e r t o
be f o l l o w e d by a b o n d i n g with father. A w o m a n will o f t e n initially
seek a p a r t n e r who shows similar characteristics to b o t h parents.
T h e r e is a f u r t h e r s t a g e in t h e g r o w t h p r o c e s s - a r o u n d p u b e r t y w h e n t h e r e l a t i o n s h i p with p a r e n t s o r o t h e r a d u l t m e m b e r s o f the
family s u r f a c e s with s e x u a l o v e r t o n e s . A s t h e t e e n a g e r b e g i n s t o
m o v e away f r o m c l o s e i n v o l v e m e n t with t h e f a m i l y t o e x p e r i m e n t
with o t h e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s , t h e security o f a k n o w n e m o t i o n c a n b e
t r a n s l a t e d i n t o s e x u a l f e e l i n g s o r ' f a n c y i n g ' t h e p a r e n t o f the
o p p o s i t e s e x . I f this i s r e c o g n i s e d a s a t r a n s i e n t p h a s e n o h a r m i s
d o n e , a l t h o u g h t e e n a g e r s c a n b e c o m e very w o r r i e d b y d r e a m s o f
h a v i n g s e x with a p a r e n t .
D r e a m images hold an element of past experience. It is therefore
o b v i o u s t h a t o v e r d y s e x u a l d r e a m s c a n b e m o r e easily a c c e p t e d
w h e n w e h a v e s o m e u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f h o w w e g r e w i n t o t h e pers o n w e a r e a t this t i m e . I f w e h a v e n o t g a i n e d s u c h a n u n d e r s t a n d i n g , t h e n t h e s e x u a l a c t i s m o r e likely t o b e s y m b o l i s e d a n d perh a p s l e s s easily r e c o g n i s e d . W e may, for i n s t a n c e , d r e a m o f s h o o t ing s o m e o n e or b e i n g shot, or of b e i n g bitten by a snake.
As we m o v e into a d u l t h o o d we can b e c o m e aware of certain basic
blueprints a n d ideals that we h o l d in o u r s u b c o n s c i o u s . T h e m o s t
easily r e c o g n i s a b l e o n e s a r e t h e k n i g h t i n s h i n i n g a r m o u r - w h i c h
e v e r y w o m a n will r e c o g n i s e - o r t h e d a m s e l i n d i s t r e s s w h o n e e d s
rescuing. T h e s e blueprints - which J u n g believed were held by
e v e r y o n e - c a n b e c o m e distorted by c h i l d h o o d e x p e r i e n c e s , socialisation a n d e v e n p a r e n t a l e x p e r i e n c e .
O u r b a s i c i n s t i n c t u a l u r g e t o r e p r o d u c e i n t h e m o s t effective way

1fl

p o s s i b l e b e g i n s with fantasy, m o v e s t h r o u g h d r e a m s a n d s h o u l d
c u l m i n a t e in successful sexual relationships. Archetypes, b e l o n g
i n g a s they d o t o a p o o l o f t h e c o l l e c t i v e u n c o n s c i o u s , allow u s t c
access a h u g e source of information a n d knowledge as symbol!
a n d p i c t u r e s . T h e s e e n a b l e u s s u c c e s s f u l l y t o c r e a t e a life f o r o u r
selves, where we a r e properly s u p p o r t e d a n d n u r t u r e d . By coming
to an u n d e r s t a n d i n g of the illusions a n d distortions we ourselvei
c r e a t e - a n d w h i c h c a n b e c r e a t e d for u s b y o t h e r p e o p l e - w e arc
a b l e t o a d j u s t o u r w a k i n g lives f o r p e r s o n a l s u c c e s s . T h e s e a r c h e
types o f t e n a r e p r o d u c e d initially i n d r e a m s , a s i m a g e s , a n d t h e r
a s s i m i l a t e d a n d r e c o g n i s e d i n e v e r y d a y life. W e c a n safely d r e a m o :
a s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s h i p with a n i d e a l f i g u r e w i t h o u t h a r m i n g o u r
selves o r o t h e r s .
While there are other archetypal figures which a p p e a r in d r e a m s
t h o s e t h a t a r e p e r t i n e n t i n d r e a m s o f a s e x u a l n a t u r e a r e those
w h i c h a r e a s s o c i a t e d m o s t with t h e m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e a t t r i b
u t e s within o u r c h a r a c t e r . It is e a s y to u n d e r s t a n d this c o n c e p t i;
we r e m e m b e r that we are conceived o u t of a c o m i n g t o g e t h e r o:
t h e m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e . W e will t h e r e f o r e h a v e i n h e r i t e d c e r
tain c h a r a c t e r traits f r o m b o t h m o t h e r a n d father. T h e y i n t u r n wil
have inherited characteristics a n d behaviours from their parents
w h o will h a v e h a d t o m a k e s e n s e o f t h e i r p a r e n t s ' i d i o s y n c r a s i e s
J u n g b e c a m e f a s c i n a t e d b y t h e way t h a t t h e m i n d c r e a t e s s y m b o l :
and

characterisations, which

appear

to

be

common

to

al

m a n k i n d . I n t a n d e m with his w o r k o n a r c h e t y p e s , i t w a s h e whc
first d i v i d e d t h e f u n c t i o n s o f t h e m i n d i n t o f o u r a s p e c t s ; s e n s a t i o n
feeling, thinking a n d intuition. L a t e r work by his pupils confirmee
t h e e x i s t e n c e o f b o t h m a s c u l i n e a n d f e m i n i n e a r c h e t y p e s . I t i s nov
possible to d e v e l o p a kind of pathway t h r o u g h the various interac
t i o n s w h i c h o c c u r within t h e p e r s o n a l i t y , a n d m o r e o f t e n t h a n n o
b e c o m e reflected outwards into relationship, whether sexual o;
otherwise.
T h e first thing which n e e d s to be u n d e r s t o o d is that regardless o
o u r overt gender, there is an inner side of o u r personality that is o
the o p p o s i t e g e n d e r . T h u s t h e m a l e will h a v e a h i d d e n f e m a l e s i d e
a n d t h e f e m a l e will h a v e h i d d e n m a s c u l i n e c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s . T h i
h i d d e n s i d e will b e a f f e c t e d b y i n f o r m a t i o n r e c e i v e d t h r o u g h o u

1!

Your Sexual Dreams Interpreted

life. I f t h a t h i d d e n s i d e i s d e n i e d o r r e p r e s s e d , i t will o f t e n s u r f a c e
in d r e a m i m a g e s as a m a n or a w o m a n , s o m e t i m e s recognisable by
the d r e a m e r a n d s o m e t i m e s n o t . A n i d e a l o f w h a t this i n t e r n a l
m a s c u l i n e o r f e m i n i n e f i g u r e s h o u l d b e i s f o r m e d very e a r l y o n
t h r o u g h o n e ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p s with o n e ' s p a r e n t s , a l t h o u g h this m a y
later b e c o m e d i s t o r t e d b y e x t e r n a l e x p e r i e n c e . T h i s i n t e r n a l f i g ure is called the A n i m a in the masculine, a n d the A n i m u s in the
feminine. As part of the growing-up process y o u n g p e o p l e begin
r e l a t i o n s h i p s o u t s i d e t h e family. A t this p o i n t i t i s v e r y e a s y t o p r o j e c t this i d e a l o n t o t h e i r p a r t n e r . T h e y try t o m a k e t h e i r p a r t n e r s
conform to that ideal, rather than allowing them to be themselves.
It is probably i m p o s s i b l e for any o n e h u m a n b e i n g to be able to
totally satisfy t h e n e e d s o f a n o t h e r , w h e t h e r t h o s e n e e d s a r e e m o tional or sexual. I n d e e d it is a sign of maturity when we realise that
both we a n d our partner are g o i n g to require different things from
different p e o p l e . T h e r e is then no further n e e d to a g o n i s e over
relationships where, for instance, a h u s b a n d finds himself b e c o m i n g j e a l o u s o f h i s w i f e ' s r e l a t i o n s h i p with h e r m o t h e r . O f t e n t h e
c o n t e n t o f his d r e a m s will g i v e h i m t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o w o r k his
f e e l i n g s o u t in s u c h a way t h a t t h e r e is b e n e f i t all r o u n d .
Example
I d r e a m t t h a t my wife a n d I w e r e w a i t i n g for h e r p a r e n t s in a bar.
T h e y c a m e i n , a n d m y wife i m m e d i a t e l y c r o s s e d o v e r a n d s a t o n
her mother's k n e e ( s o m e t h i n g she would not do in real life). I
f o u n d this v e r y e r o t i c , b u t I d i d n ' t k n o w w h o I f a n c i e d , m y wife o r
h e r m o t h e r . I t h i n k h e r m o t h e r i s a n o l d b a t d e - a x e i n r e a l life.
In this d r e a m , t h e r e is an instinctive r e c o g n i t i o n t h a t h i s wife is still
maintaining

the

m o t h e r / d a u g h t e r relationship, which

he

now

finds attractive r a t h e r t h a n t h r e a t e n i n g . It is m o t h e r - i n - l a w ' s personality t h a t h e i s a m b i v a l e n t over.
T h e f e m i n i n e q u a l i t i e s i n a m a n a t b e s t h e l p h i m t o u n d e r s t a n d his
m o r e c a r i n g a n d s e n s i t i v e s i d e . A t w o r s t they b e c o m e d e s t r u c t i v e ,
a n d put him in a position of acting in an unstable fashion. For
i n s t a n c e , h e m a y f i n d h i m s e l f u n a b l e t o d e c i d e b e t w e e n two c o u r s e s o f a c t i o n , o r b e t w e e n two w o m e n . I n d r e a m s this c a n m a n i f e s t
as a d r e a m where his p a r t n e r c h a n g e s into the o t h e r w o m a n , or

9D

v i c e v e r s a . W h e n h e r e c o g n i s e s t h a t h e c a n c o r r e c t t h a t instability
within h i m s e l f , h e i s a b l e t o a c c e p t t h a t t h e d r e a m f i g u r e s c a n h e l p
h i m t o u n d e r s t a n d himself.
I n s t e a d o f b e i n g a f i g u r e t o b e f e a r e d , this i n t e r n a l f e m i n i n e can
b e d e v e l o p e d a s a f r i e n d a n d ally. R e c o g n i s e d p r o p e r l y , t h e A n i m a
b e c o m e s t h e M u s e o f t h e p o e t , t h e I n s p i r e r o f t h e m u s i c i a n , the
Motivator of the b u s i n e s s m a n . W h e n he a p p r e c i a t e s that there is a
p o t e n t i a l f o r a n i n n e r u n i o n t o t a k e p l a c e , h i s d r e a m s will often
t a k e o n a s e x u a l q u a l i t y w h i c h s i g n i f i e s this u n i o n . H e i s t h u s able
t o a c c e s s a v a s t a m o u n t o f a w a r e n e s s a n d k n o w l e d g e w h i c h has
h i t h e r t o b e e n u n a v a i l a b l e t o h i m . H e will t h e n f i n d h i m s e l f m o r e
a b l e t o b e s u c c e s s f u l i n r e l a t i o n s h i p s i n e v e r y d a y life, w h e t h e r s e x
ual or otherwise.
In d r e a m s the A n i m a can appear in n u m e r o u s forms, sometimes
showing herself as an unknown w o m a n , as a g o d d e s s figure, a;
s o m e o n e k n o w n t o t h e d r e a m e r , a n d o f t e n a s a n a s p e c t o f h i s owr
mother. T h i s is b e c a u s e a m a n internalises his own p e r c e p t i o n ol
the f e m i n i n e a r o u n d h i m b e c a u s e o f h i s e a r l y r e l a t i o n s h i p with his
m o t h e r . T h e latter will h a v e f o r m e d t h e l o d e s t o n e o f h i s r e l a t i o n
s h i p with w o m e n . I t i s often n o t until h e m e e t s s o m e o n e w h o ha;
c o m e t o t e r m s with h e r s e l f a s w o m a n , t h a t h e will b e a b l e t o release
the p e r c e p t i o n s a n d e n e r g y h e h a s k e p t p e n t u p .
T h e s e f i r s t r e l e a s e s a n d e x p e r i m e n t a t i o n will o f t e n m a n i f e s t a s s e x
ual d r e a m s . F o r instance, in an a t t e m p t to discover his mother':
sexuality he may d r e a m of watching her - or p e r h a p s a d r e a m char
a c t e r w h o r e p r e s e n t s h e r - a c t i n g , i n h i s view, i n a n i n a p p r o p r i a t e
m a n n e r s e x u a l l y . H e m a y d r e a m o f h e r b e h a v i n g with c o n s i d e r a b l e
a b a n d o n m e n t , when in actual fact s h e is s o m e w h a t self-containec
i n r e a l life. C o n v e r s e l y s h e m a y i n d r e a m s a p p e a r t o b e inhibitec
w h e n s h e i s a v e r y o p e n p e r s o n . I t i s a l m o s t a s t h o u g h h e i s testing
out his hypotheses a b o u t w o m e n in his d r e a m scenarios.
P a r t i c u l a r l y i f h i s m o t h e r h a s i n h i b i t e d h i s s e x u a l g r o w t h i n some
way, he will h a v e difficulty in r e c o n c i l i n g h i s o w n n e e d s with those
o f t h e w o m e n a r o u n d h i m . H e will o f t e n e x p e c t t o b e m o t h e r e d b ;
his p a r t n e r a n d b e c o m e very c o n f u s e d w h e n this d o e s n o t h a p p e n
W h e n h e r e a l i s e s h o w e v e r that w o m e n h a v e t h e ability t o b e ' o t h e ;

9

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